Everybody's Changing.

I've felt, more than okay with everything for a few days now. I'm confused on what to do now. I've been focusing on just getting through Year 10, and then being able to think about what I want to do with myself, and what I should do in respects to the people around me. I've told myself just to wait, because their are a few dates that are coming up that will bring me to people I need to talk to, people I miss.

First date is in November, and I don't know what to do now.. I'm confused on what this one wants. We kinda ended knowing eachother over a year ago now, but I still, I still wonder about him from time to time. And hearing about him.. About what he says and does.. Sometimes I wish I still spoke to him.. Sometimes I wish we still knew eachother.. He said someday, someday we might talk to eachother again.. Someday we might know eachother again.. Maybe someday is coming.

And the second date is in December. Now this relationship is a fucked one I think. God can only know what I want, and God can only know what he wants. I'm scared of this relationship, I am. But I think all that fear has pushed me away in some respects, and it has caused me to be confused about what I want again. I think that if one doesn't work out, the other might.. But if I was asked about which one I would want to work, I can't answer that, and I don't think I can do that to myself again..

I want the waiting to continue forever, and I want it to stop now.