Come Undone.

Well yay for being over all this fucking shit.
And Sarah Clark number 2 thinks I'm model material, because I have that type of prettyness, wth?

I am the worlds worst friend. God I hate myself. He needed me, and what the hell can I do? Nothing. I can't do anything about it. How the hell do you try to convince someone not to take their own life when just a few weeks ago you were in the same situation as him. Sure, maybe the scenes that took place were a little different, but in the end, we both thought the same things. And then we have to welcome being crushed. Oh fuck this fucking shit. Why can't, for once, our lives be acting as though they're in our favour? Nothing is okay, again. And what if he does something to himself now, because of me? Because of how fucking crappy I am as a friend. I didn't know how bad things had got for him.. I didn't.. But I don't know what to say to him. "Sure, don't try suicide, because tomorrow's going to be a better day". I can't lie to him, because I've been in tomorrow for a while now, and it sucks. I thought I was okay with all this, but I'm not. I'm not okay.

What the hell does life want from us? Does it want to push us so much that we doubt whatever happiness comes our way? Is it going to hurt us so much just so we can hurt other people just as much? You know, I really am doubting myself again. What kind of person does this? I fucking don't know.. Who the fuck am I now? Have I become that person again? The one that doesn't give a shit about anyone else? The one that doesn't care anymore? The bitch I've tried not to be? Am I her again?

Who have I become, because I'm not who I wish I was. I'm just as bad as the people that have hurt me. And because of them, now I'm hurting the people that helped me..

I wish I could take all this shit back again. I wish everything was different. I wish I hadn't become me, I wish I hadn't done this.. I wish I didn't.. I wish I wasn't me.

And this isn't the only problem at the moment, trust me. I wish everything wasn't changing.. I wish I wasn't learning new things.. I wish everything was how it used to be.