How Do You Dream?

Lately I've been trying to believe in the good of people. You know.. Trying to believe everyone has a good side, everyone cares about everyone..

Obviously that's not true. What's affecting my mood at the moment is the hold one insignificant moment of time to one person can have on another.

The greatest act of love is sacrifice.
I think what's secretly breaking my heart inside is I've been in the spot of watching someone I love love someone else. And it honestly sucks to be there. So this age is the age of despair? Yep, that's right. I guess it isn't so much of a shock anymore when I find out what people think inside. Everybody has a secret part to themselves, a hidden side.

I've been feeling a bit alone lately. I can't really explain that, I can't really explain why. I guess I've just been used to being on my own, and maybe subconsciously I will choose that as the way to deal. But regardless, I have been feeling alone. I don't talk to the people I used to.. You know for various reasons.. Sure, in one relationship I wish it hadn't been ruined, but it is. Now I can't talk to her about it, because I'm sure she doesn't need to hear about it. Everyone else? Well I guess there opinions were made, and now I'd rather not hear what they think, even if their veiws may have changed. I kind of don't have anyone to turn to.. I still feel insecure. And I guess I don't want to talk about it because I'm still not sure on it all. I guess when we love someone losing them daunts.

I felt pretty crappy tonight. I don't know why, but I did. I guess I still don't think I'm enough.. And I'm hurting a fair bit..

But I'm not hurting because someone wronged me, I'm not hurting because I'm heartbroken..
I'm hurting because I simply always hurt.

The guy I love loves me back. My mother and I were talking about the whole situation at the beginning of the week and she told me not to care about what's going on on the outside, to just enjoy what I have now because I deserve to be happy.

I'm not worried or anything.
Sometimes I just have a bad-like day, and when that happens I contemplate where I am in life. I'm pretty damn happy with everything at the moment.

I just wish some things stayed the same.
However, everything is constantly changing. All I need to decide is who I'm going to be in that picture.