Wow, today sucked hard. Work is gay, so very gay. It's like the Italians verse the other ones, verse Iggy. All I wanted to do, all day, has been sleep. I woke up and wanted to sleep. I got in the car and wanted to sleep. I got to Burwood and wanted to sleep. Walked into work, wanted to sleep. Got to the chip station.. Wanted to sleep. I only waved at Hot Kebab Guy once all day, and that was after my shift. I don't understand why people would want to come to Burwood and eat HOT food on a fricken hot day.. I really don't..
So this is where you are.
And this is where I am.
Somewhere between unsure, and a hundred.
Ten minutes.
Twelve minutes.
Wow. Maybe I will clean.
Fuck this shit.
The last thing I need tonight is this.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same..
Sixteen minutes.
Nineteen.
My family is totally awesome.
Everything is awesome.
Everything is awesome.
So I was reading someone else's blog. Every second person I know now blogs, but, still, I read someone else's.
I don't like complaining about my situation in the world. I don't like writing "zomg, does my boyfriend really love me? I've got everything I want but still I'm suicidal.. Why am I depressed D:" in every single fricken blog. But this person did..
I'm sorry, but this week I've lost and gained respect for people. And after reading that.. I don't know.. But I don't understand people anymore.. If you've got what you wanted, why are you sad? Maybe it's not what you wanted! So don't sit there and complain about it, figure it the fuck out. My patience has really run out now..
Is it my lack of understanding, or is the human race really just becoming shallow pieces of dirt?
Hello, my name's Sarah.
I'm a deep girl in a shallow world.
.. A really shallow world.
I used to feel stronger than this.
I really did.
I went for a very long time, knowing I needed someone but not having them.
I used to be strong.. In the days I thought I was weak.. I was strong.
That was strength,
Who I was.. She had strength.
I went two years, hurting, but I made it out of it.
I'm not suicidal anymore.
I don't self harm, I'm trying to be better than that.
I'm trying.
But right now..
I don't know what to do.
I had a shit day.
A shit night.
And all I want is The Fray to sing me to sleep.
1 comment:
hoi, hope you don't mind comments? i love to read other people's blogs! yeah everyone seems to have one these days but i'd encourage it for anyone if its good ventilation therapy. some of the stuff people post might seem oblivious to the effect it has on others but dark shit would've continued to brew inside them anyway so instead of seeing it as a trend, i see it as a popular because its an effective outlet.
eugh yeah I somewhat blame our culture.. its very difficult to be satisfied with what you have when we're bombarded with advertising and social pressure. we're encouraged to 'dream big' and especially in relationships younger generations may be put off that their parents had to settle. envy/wondering if the grass is greener on the other side is one of the most potent causes of unhappiness, fucking unfortunate. guess we gotta count our blessings frequently to remain grounded and if you want to try a step further, maybe contemplate how needing as little as possible besides basic survival needs is closer to the secret of stable satisfaction. less is more, psychological materialism is a drain! not to say this perspective is a walk in the park but personally its the sort of comforting pillow i like to lean on when feeling defeated by all the wants in the world needing to be acquired and constantly nourished..
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