Hello/Goodbye.

I've been able to keep things from affecting me the past two months because simply I've been oblivious all along. I've been telling myself everything's okay, and I've been believing it. I've been able to live without regret for a while now. I don't regret the things I did last month, last year. But I did regret last night..

If you want something in this world, then you fight like hell for that something. If you want it bad enough, you keep fighting. If you don't get what you want, you either didn't want it bad enough, or gave up. Don't ever blame your circumstances on someone else. At the end of the day, you've been dealt some sort of card, and how you react determines everything. If you've had a bad year, then you fight back until you're satisfied again. If you've gone through a bad time, a bad break up, a bad friendship, then you still fight back. If there's anything in this world that can destroy you, you fight against it. Fear leads to regret. Fear holds you back. But if you're at a point right now where you want something, and you know you want that something, then you need to fight like hell for it. Not fighting is stupidity, because if you look back on this day next month, next year, and didn't fight for what you wanted, and some how lost, you'll regret it.

There's always a winner, and always a loser. Someone who gets what they want, someone who doesn't. There's a poor winner, and a poor loser. The winner who rubs it in, and the loser who can't accept. This world isn't the best to live in. It's hard some days. I'm not saying it's not hard, I've had numerous hard days.

Last night I wished I hadn't left my first high school. Because if I hadn't, maybe someone could've gotten what they wanted. I had some stupid regret for some obviously stupid reason. I shouldn't, and I won't, apologise for my happiness. If that's what you want from me, then you'll never get it. Because I am not sorry about any of this. You say you've learnt from last year, and you haven't. Because if you've learnt anything, you wouldn't be so oblivious to the facts now.

You can't lose something if it was never yours.
If you wanted whatever, then you should've fought for it.
You say you did it to spare my feelings..
That's a load of shit.
Who am I to you?
Who are you to me?

Last year sucked, fine.
I know it sucked.
I lived through the sucky days.
I'm not excluding that.
And I still wish I could do something about it, because you used to be a really sweet girl that didn't deserve any shit, and all I ever wanted to do was help you when you did have un-needed shit.

But I can't do anything anymore.
I realised that last night.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together "

You showed me that quote.
And sadly, you were right.
There's nothing else to say.
All I can really say is I'm sorry you fell for someone that didn't love you back.
I can say sorry for that.
Because that's the real worst kind of pain..
The pain locked inside your heart.
I wish you happiness, but that's all now.