Usually when I'm depressed I find solace in these blogs. I can be all pissy, and write about it. So much harder it seems to right about my happiness. Not that there's nothing to write, it's just a hell of a lot harder writing about happiness. With sadness, with depression, all I have to use are words like 'solitude' and 'lonliness' and the moods' set.
The only word I can use to relate to happiness.. Is happiness. And I am happy. At the moment, so very happy. I feel complete, I feel worthy. I feel better.
I used to always worry about not being enough. It's this damn feeling that used to stick around, the feeling that used to pop up the second something went wrong. I failed - you're not enough. I lost - you're not enough. It feels really good to not be questioning my worth anymore. It's like I just let go of who I used to be. It's an amazing feeling to not feel anything like I used to.
I'm so grateful that I met him. I don't regret anything of who I've been, I don't regret anything I've done.. Because every single bit of my past has led me to this spot, has led me to him.
I wouldn't have any of this any other way.
Wow, my phone bills going to be high this month.
Fuck 3.
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