Apologies.

Sometimes it can be very hard to form words.. To explain what is unseen to others.. To just tell others what we're feeling.. What we ourselves don't understand..

People have always seen me as a very happy character, I know that. People think it's all happiness, and laughter. Somedays I am happy. Somedays I can actually be happy, without having to fake it. Somedays, not so.

What I'm having a hard time with is being alone again. It's not that I miss you, it's more I miss the sense of security, and understanding, that you showed me. I just miss being able to smile, I miss not having to miss anything. You let me let go. You made me not carry the burden for once.. You just gave me a reason to want to fight. My cause finally had a reason. I just miss that feeling I used to have, the one that made me want to be me for once. Now I just feel numb, I just don't feel all too happy. I have to come home again, and I have to deal with it again. I don't know what I'm going to do.. I just hate this.. I hate it all.. And now I hate you.. Because that's all I can do..