On Wednesday my brother's godmother passed away. Seven years ago Eric's godparents and family packed up and moved to Perth, and we only ever saw them one other time when Mum, me and Eric went over.
I spent most of my childhood at their place in Sydney. We sometimes drive past the house, and I miss it. The pool, the court on the other side of the road. It was a fun place growing up.
However, not only did she pass away, but my grandfather got admitted to hospital. And it wasn't a good day at all.
Mum was heartbroken, and Eric was devastated. My dad's face was practically blank, and I didn't even know what to feel.
We have had two visitors from England that arrived on Thursday, and today while driving Tom home in the car Mum and one of the visitors, Ken, were talking about life and how these things come quickly out of the dark.
So now I've come to a new outlook, so to speak. I've spent four years living in the past, holding on to hurt, and pain. I blame the circumstances of the time on who I am today, and that may be true. I got sent to a school that is too far away in my books, and I've been taking the same medication that works but doesn't for three years. And I think I need to just live in the moment. There is no later in this life. If we need something, want something, have to do something.. it's all now.
Although this year is important in determining my year next year, I'm going to live in the moment, and remember that there is no longer later.

Later does not exist. It is only here, and it is only now.

Rest in Peace Branka, Uncle Colin, Nonna, Aunty Joyce, Lina, and to all those friends and family we've lost a long the way ♥